Last Wednesday, my local comics shop was handing out free promotional copies of previews for Spider-Men, an upcoming spider-themed event from Marvel. Since it was free and more or less worthless to me, I plopped my 9-month-old son on my lap and gave him the comic to see how he would respond to the pretty Spider-Man pictures.
He showed a passing interest in the art, if for no other reason than all the bright colors. But that didn’t stop him from thoroughly destroying the book with scarcely any effort. In seconds flat, he’d torn the cover off the comic and was wiping his chubby little drool-covered fingers all over the interior pages. If not for my watchful parental eye, I have no doubt he would have tried to cram the whole thing in his mouth.
It was precisely the reaction I’d anticipated and the reason why I don’t try to slip in some funny books when I’m reading night-night stories to him. The children’s books I read to him are made out of thick paper stock that can stand up to all the tearing, biting and copious amounts of drool that a cranky infant can muster. Comic books, for all their many virtues, are not, as a general rule, solidly made. I shudder to think what would happen if I left my son alone with my collection of floppies for any length of time. It would be a bloodbath – an adorable, sticky, gibberish-speaking bloodbath.
My experiment with the free promo book got me thinking: has Marvel or DC ever published books geared toward infants and toddlers? After a cursory search around the Interwebs, I haven’t found what I’m visualizing. Both publishers have done pop-up books, but my son would tear them to shreds – and, in any event, they’re marketed to kids in 3rd grade or older. I know both companies have had varying success with comics geared toward younger readers, but that’s not what I’m talking about either. I’m thinking along the lines of Baby’s First Batman.
Imagine this: Marvel could produce a Spider-Man book for toddlers in which our Friendly Neighborhood Wall-Crawler goes over numbers, or shapes or colors using characters and locations from the Marvel U. Print the books on the heavy-duty paper most kids books are made out of so it can withstand the abuse. And make the art cute and unique (Skottie Young was born for this project).
If that’s a hit, have the Fantastic Four do a family-themed book in which Reed and Sue go over basic science stuff with Franklin and Valeria. You’re sitting on a gold mine, Marvel!
It’s possible, however unlikely, that such a product may already exist and my nigh infallible Internetz skillz failed to find it during the 15 minutes of research I conducted before writing this. If so, would someone please tell me where I can fork over my money to buy these books?
If, on the other hand, the little kiddie superhero market remains untapped, I’ll accept half the profits from whichever company is first to fill the void since I came up with the idea. Marvel or DC, you can make your checks payable to Plain of Peril. I’m waiting.
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